Hope everyone had a good Forth of July yesterday. Full of grilled food, fireworks, fun, & celebrating our freedom with friends & family.
(Hate to honestly say this but I can’t for the love of myself, which isn’t much anymore, remember if yesterday represented when Lincoln & all the guys signing the the Declaration of Independence lmao. There’s too many days like this Veterans Day, Memorial Day, etc.)
& this is the part I ruin this blog with my rant from my pathetic life basically. It was honestly depressing to me also due to the face I haven’t been able to sleep much these days & taking a benedryl sure as hell didn’t even help me but make me more tired & emotional as fuck!
This is basically the 1st July 4th I wasn’t able to spend with Dumbass due to the fact the bitch was in town, so I was really depressed. Not hearing a word from him not even about the baby items I got the other day didn’t help. Found out the bitch stayed over cause his freaking mom made her since everyone was fucked up. Normally I don’t go for the drinking & driving deal, but in this case I’m all for it for her to get killed. Hitting a pole with no one around to help OR get hurt themselves would’ve been nice. Two-face, back stabbing bitch.
Anywho went over to my mom’s to spend it with her cause the so called get together that I was told about wasn’t what I expected. My cousin was grilling & supposebly was gonna bring everything to our place to eat. He did all right but brought us food & stayed at his place so it was basically me & my grandmother. Like I said not what I was thinking bout. But me & my mom rented some movies & happy for me I got to drink some wine that made my little nose tingle a bit & went to get a Jamacanmehappy drink haha.
Now before ya’ll start shaking your heads it was ONE bottle & the alcohol content was 3.2% which is all I wanted anyways, even consulted with my dad bout seeing would it be ok & he didn’t see the harm in just ONE, but no more tho. He said the wine was more like 12% which I honestly believe it was cause I felt better with it if I had more than the other drink.
But yea I was trying to make it a good forth. I mean shit I deserve it! Why should I let my ex who obviously enjoyed his & not myself? I shouldn’t that’s why!!
But besides that, also been feeling like people been throwing stuff up in my face even if they’re not. Like my friend posted bout how she & another friend was going out with their boyfriends or muchless to top it off my ex’s mother had to make a damn video of him acting a fool with the bitch right in the background & then him dancing with her…….
Yea its funny how someone claims to hate another for being in the picture & breaking our family up & being a backstabbing friend winds up being there at their house getting drunk. Fucking hypocrite is all I can say.
So yea dealing with all this is so great since today I have to go south to see my high risk doctor & he’s going with me. I don’t know how to act around him specially when once a fuck again we had another night talking & sharing little kisses that WEREN’T on the lips (I may have posted about that I can’t recall), but still nonetheless it happened & as usual like my grandmother said I knew I would be thrown aside like a fucking Raggedy Anne doll. Ugh I don’t know what the fuck to do but hope I go into labor soon so I can be like fuck you!
Ooooo & I’m not sure if I’m being paranoid, but I recently got to thinking that the bitch is coming back all on purpose. I mean she was last here not even two weeks ago for Father’s Day & her father’s birthday, & she’s back again for yet ANOTHER holiday, what next holiday is there? Well I think Grandparent’s Day is next, but surely she wouldn’t bother coming back for that. AND!!! It also seems like she’s gotta be here when we have to go south. Now I will say last trip the ex didn’t go due to work, BUT she was here nonetheless & he didn’t bother asking bout the time of that appointment or anything. I am gonna keep an eye out for this. Hopefully I’m wrong but idk…..